September 30, 2001
12:30am
Exhausted and ready to go to bed. My back hurts too bad to lay down. Guess I’ll try a bath.
9am
It is truly a gorgeous morning! Would be nice to go to church this morning and be around people, but it is also nice just to sit here and relax.
Opened the sliding door this morning (with the screen closed of course). Sassy just loves it! All the sounds and the smells! The birds are on the ground having their breakfast. Although she is sitting a “safe” distance away from the screen.
The maintenance lady came by and opened the pool. She fished a couple of different shoes and some clothes out of the pool and threw them away. How can you not know that one of your shoes is floating in the water when you leave the pool area?
Closed the door. It was getting kind of chilly and my nose was beginning to itch. Sassy feels safe enough to go sit next to the door again. She loves looking out. And people walking by love looking at her. I hear them — “Oh, look at the cat!”
“The Cat” just decided to jump in my lap for a few minutes. She never stays long anyway, but she got down when I sneezed.
Just had an idea. BRB. It worked. I can spray a printout with sealer and the ink won’t run when it gets wet. That means I can use decoupage glue on my printouts.
3:50pm
I know Mom considers me lazy. But I am almost constantly busy! It isn’t laziness that keeps me in bed all day. It’s my depression. All she does is lay around in bed all day watching tv. If I would lay on the couch and watch tv instead of sleeping, she wouldn’t consider me as lazy. Watching tv is “doing something”. She’s upset that I’m not going to church this evening. She doesn’t understand the difference between not going because you’re busy and not going because you’re depressed. I have been busy since 8:00 this morning when she called. She got out and went to church. Then she came home and watched tv and took a nap. But I’m the one who’s lazy because I’m not getting out and going to church. (oh, and I’m especially lazy when I’m writing because then I’m not doing anything at all) God, no wonder my ideas are all warped!
11:30pm
The journal is finished. Again. I re-did everything. Like it so much better now. Will probably change it again next month.
Don’t know what I want to write about but don’t feel like doing anything else. Maybe work on the Shrink Art book.